Tis The Season

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas day. I know I did. I pretty much slept in for like 9 hours. My parents had to work and most of my other immediate family live too far away for me to drive. I got a decent haul. Mostly money which I always welcome.

Ah Christmas… The time of year that is supposed to be about family, friends and getting to spend time and share the holiday with one another. Unfortunately, that isn’t true for most people. Namely myself…

First off, let’s get something straight. I don’t hate Christmas itself. I just hate most of the people on Christmas. It’s like everyone forgets common decency during the holidays. “Timmy” just HAS to have this Lego Star Wars set and they will kick the shit out of anyone who tries to get it before them.

Christmas is just so materialistic to most people. Someone I know once told me that they couldn’t have a good Christmas because they didn’t have any money for presents. I can understand wanting to get your loved ones something, but it doesn’t have to be a bad Christmas if you can’t. I told them at least they get to spend it with their family and friends. They answered with something that kind of burned me up inside. They said that Christmas is for the kids…. I don’t agree with that at all.

Christmas is for anyone that wants to celebrate it. We’re taught as children that if we’re bad, “Santa” will give us a lump of coal for Christmas. For me, that taught us that we were suppose to be good, SIMPLY for that reason and that reason alone. Whether or not they meant it that way, that is how we interpreted it. Christmas became the only time we were on our best behavior. I feel like that is the reason most of us are so materialistic about Christmas.

I have worked retail most of my life. I have seen some of the most horrible things while doing so. People are fighting, trampling and screaming at each other over tvs, computers, toys, ect… It’s just fucking sad. Mainly because it took me being an adult and finally seeing it for myself to sink in. It almost breaks my heart to see people fighting over things that they just spent saying they were thankful for on Thanksgiving. I don’t know…. Maybe it’s just me that has this view of Christmas. I just wish we had more kind people around that holiday, or any day for that matter.

My family isn’t much better. Most Christmas’, I prefer to spend alone, rather than with my family. It seems like every year, they are at each others throats and fighting. Everyone has something to complain about every year. I love my family to death, but that kind of stuff makes me want to avoid them like the plague. Anymore it messes with my anxiety because I can’t be around conflict.

It’s not all bad though. There ARE some kind people in the world that just want to see everyone happy. I am one of those people. I just wish that kindness was as contagious as the flu is this season. I hope everyone has a wonderful new year. Talk to you all next Friday.

 

 

-Valken

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 Summers

8 Summers ago….

I had FINALLY moved out of my parents house and moved in with a few friends from work. Times were great then. For the first time in so long I was genuinely happy. I no longer had to do things on anyone else’s time but my own. I didn’t feel so alone because I finally had someone to talk to and hang out with. I got to meet a lot of new people because we would have parties almost every weekend. It’s been 8 Summers since I smiled… I miss happiness.

8 Summers ago…

 I had FINALLY got my drivers license. My dad had been trying to teach me how to drive since I was 15. I hated learning from him. He made me nervous as hell because he would yell so loud if I even went ONE MILE over the speed limit. It took so long for me to gain the confidence to have my dad take me to the DMV. Since I was over 21 at the time, I got to do the written and drivers test on the same day if I wanted. It took me 3 freakin tries to pass the written test. Once I finally passed it, I decided to wait to take the drivers test. I failed the test the first time because I accidentally went 45 in a 40 and I turned the wheels the wrong way hill parking. I got to take it the next day thankfully and I passed. I was so happy. It was my birthday when I passed as well and as an added bonus, my parents gave me my first car that day. It’s been 8 Summers since I did that… I miss freedom. 

8 Summers ago…

 I got the courage to finally start talking to girls. I hadn’t had a relationship since high school and the breakup was pretty bad. I ended up meeting the girl that would change my whole outlook on life since then. It was crazy at first. At the time, she was already taken, but for some reason, I still wanted to pursue her. It took a little over 6 months until she was single and we began to talk. When we finally made it official it was so great. She actually asked ME out. She would always come over. We would stay up late just talking. We didn’t even have to be talking about anything specific. We dated for 3 years before it ended. To this day, it was the worst breakup I ever had. It’s been 8 Summers since we first kissed… I miss comfort.

8 Summers ago…

I was 22 then. Time didn’t seem to pass by as fast in those times. I had a car, a girlfriend, and my own place. I couldn’t have been happier. Why did I screw that up? Why did I make it so I lost all of that at the same time? I really need to stop beating myself up about it. I learned a lot of valuable lessons in those times. I finally learned how it was in the real world. I finally learned what most people’s intentions were. I’m 30 years old now. A lot has changed, but not really at the same time. I’m still trying to figure put my life. It sucks, but I just have to keep moving forward. It’s been 8 Summers since my life officially began… I miss who I was back then. 

-Valken 

Brandee (BabyGirl)

It’s like this girl…

I still to this day have no idea where you came from. We just randomly started playing COD together. Never in a million years would I have guessed that you would become such an important part of my life. It’s funny who life throws at you.

I didn’t even think you liked me very much. Next thing I knew, we were staying up late talking. Sometimes till the crack of dawn. We would talk all night about anime, or whatever else was on our minds. I remember that first night we talked. We just shared our favorite pictures of ourselves. You gave me a confidence I didn’t know I had.

What has it been now? Like 4 years? Maybe longer? It’s crazy I’ve known you for so long, yet we haven’t officially met yet. Don’t worry.  I aim to change that soon. You are one of many stops I have to make really soon. 

I wanted to write about you to tell you that I am grateful for every moment I get to speak to you. You have NO IDEA how much you really mean to me. You always seem to have great timing. Almost every time I’m down, I suddenly get a message from you and I forget about whatever is bothering me. I also wanna tell you that even if you didn’t have great timing, it wouldn’t matter because it wouldn’t change how I feel. 

I love you. I hope you enjoy reading this post. Hope to be able to see you soon!

-Valken

Jorddie

Life is funny sometimes. You never know the impact someone could have on your life. Especially when you haven’t even officially met them yet. Here lately, some of my closest friends live thousands of miles away from me. One friend in particular that I want to write about is my friend Jordan.

Jordan is from Canada. Pretty far away from where I currently live, but the distance doesn’t make our friendship any weaker. That’s one thing I love about it. As for how we met, let me take you back about 5 years or so….

It started with a bang. Literally because I was playing COD: Black Ops 2 online and I can get a little grenade happy. The funny thing about that is, I don’t really care for a lot of first person shooter games. I needed the distraction though because I was fresh out of a 3 year relationship. I made a lot of online friends, but none compared to Jordan. 

We didn’t hit it off right away. It started out with just playing online with a few other friends that I met before her. I was Facebook friends with someone who we both knew, so I decided to try and find her on his page (I know… kind of gives a stalker vibe.) It was cool though because she ended up adding me. 

Playing COD all the time turned into just sitting in parties chatting about whatever. It didn’t matter what we were talking about, it was always interesting. Party chatting in COD turned into Skype calls, or TextPlus chats, and even on some app called KiK(I didn’t keep that app for very long.)

When I started this blog two years ago, she was one of the first to read it. She became one of my first fans that would ALWAYS give me feedback. What she doesn’t realize is, it’s ME that’s one of HER biggest fans. She has no idea how much she means to me as a friend. It would probably take me another 3 years to explain just how much. 

In the mean time, let’s just stick with this. I meant what I said about coming to visit. It kind of HAS to happen. I’m also still planning on killing you for that Star Wars birthday gift… I hope you understand how valuable you are to me as a friend. Here’s to friendship. May it be everlasting.

-Valken