Guess I’ll Go Screw Myself?

I don’t know about any of you, but I am sick of it being socially unacceptable to say “good morning.” Anymore, every time you say it to people, they look at you like you just shot their fucking cat. Not only that, but simply saying “hi” to someone makes you immediately wish you hadn’t. My question is… Why is that?

“It’s this world we live in. The world is cruel.” That’s the answer I always get. I say that’s bullshit. It’s not the world that is cruel. It’s the people living in it. When did we all start hating everything and everyone. When did it become almost impossible to have a real conversation with someone?

People often tell me that I’m too nice to people. Part of gets where they are coming from, but another part of me really hates that. I just hate that there is such a thing as being too nice. That really shouldn’t be, considering how hateful most people are.

For example, I was walking around Walmart on Tuesday. I ran into a people that I know from work. Now I know that people tend to act differently outside of work, but it’s not like I expected them to have a long chat with me. All I did was smile and wave at them. They just glared at me like: “How dare you show me kindness!” When things like that happen, I can’t help, but feel a bit cross about it. I guess fuck me, right?

If they don’t like me, that would be nice to know so I don’t make the mistake of greeting them again. I’m not saying that they are obligated to  say hi back if I greet them. I’m just saying that I would rather them just ignore me, than just glare at me.

It’s things like this, that make me dislike people in general. I hate feeling like I’m the asshole for being friendly. I don’t want to change that about myself. You never know how just a few seconds of kindness can affect someone. As a person as anxious and depressed as I am, it means the world to me to see or talk to someone who is genuinely kind. Too bad that’s a bit of a rarity these days. Will things ever get better? Will we ever stop hating each other? Maybe I should just get used to the fact that the world will never change.

 

-Valken