“Hey man. Are you ok? You look a little down.”
“Yeah I’m ok. Im just tired…”
No. That’s not it. I’m actually struggling to wake up in the morning. I literally have to give myself a pep talk just to move an inch from my bed. I don’t sleep well. I haven’t since I was 8 years old. I can’t even tell if I’m awake while I’m writing this. I don’t even know what to fucking do or how I feel anymore, but yeah… I’m just tired.
I feel like my friends are getting annoyed with me. Every day I feel more and more distant with them. I often feel like they talk about how annoying I am behind my back. I feel like they don’t even like me. I feel like they are just going to give up and leave me. I SHOULD know that this isn’t true, but my brain keeps telling me otherwise. I don’t feel like I mean anything to anyone, but yeah… I’m just tired.
I can’t even walk in front of people without having an anxiety attack. I feel like they are in a hurry and I am in their way. I feel the same way when I’m standing in line in a fast food restaurant. That voice in my head telling me these things. It never ends, but yeah…. I’m just tired.
I may look ok, but I’m not. Yeah I smile, but it’s usually half hearted or fake. I tell you everything under the sun to make you believe otherwise, but I’m not always ok. I’m LITERALLY drowning inside my head, but yeah… I’m just tired.
-Valkenp
I AM CHAOS!!! 